DEAR
JOURNAL,
Life can deal you an interesting hand. Many
blessings and many trials. I many times have
told myself that I need to write things down
right soon so that my children will know how
I felt during my pregnancy's and about their
birth.
Myesha and Celeste (Our Twins) were a really
hard pregnancy for both their Mother and
their Father. But what a blessing to feel the
spirit so strongly there to guide us. We
would have never made it without Heavenly
Father and Mother's help. I remember a sacred
experience that happened on March 4, 1995 on
my way to work at Idaho Falls Group Homes
there on Belin Road. I felt the presence of
the Holy Ghost and I believe my girls were
there too. I felt strongly that there were
special spirits ready to come to the Earth
soon. I felt that way for quit some time and
at times it scared me. Darren did not seem
ready: as far as that goes, I was not ready
either. But there were two beautiful girls
who were. I took the birth control pills
hoping soon Darren would let me know when.
The birth control pills made me very moody
and violent. Many a time, Darren had to duck,
and dodge objects, really I only threw
pillows. I'd get angry and then I would cry
it seemed for hours and hours. Finally I went
to the doctor. Dr. Johnson quickly took me
off the pills. He told us to either start our
family or use condoms. Darren and I don't
believe in using condoms for us. So a month
and a half later we were pregnant with our
twins. Somehow Darren and I felt even before
I was pregnant that we would have twins. At
the beginning of the pregnancy it went fairly
well. I had the usual pregnancy problems. I
felt green many a time. I told Darren before
I got pregnant that we would have troubles
with them. The Lord I believe always let me
know certain things to prepare me. Then I
thought where I was doing so well that I
could have been wrong. I need to learn to
trust my feelings. At 18 weeks gestation we
had the first of many series of Ultra Sounds.
They found out that we were indeed pregnant
with twins. What joy Darren and I felt, joy
soon turned to fear and uncertainty. They
also found that we had Twin-Twin Transfusion
Syndrome. One baby was so much smaller then
the other (half the size of the bigger one.)
November 6, 1995: We went to Salt Lake City,
Utah (University of Utah Hospital) under the
direction of my OB-GYN., Dr.Hall. Dr. Silver
studied my Ultra Sound and at first they felt
they were in the same sac. That brought a new
fear of Babies strangling themselves with
each others umbilical cords. The smaller baby
(Celeste) had littler fluid around her. They
tried to extract some fluid (amniocentesis). They had to quit after three times because of
small contractions. They gave me medications
to stop the contractions. This was a start of
three and a half months of trial. We decided
to stay in Salt Lake City, Utah and receive
treatment from Dr. Silver.I
received many amios, Ultra sounds, non-stress
tests, and many other treatments. Elizabeth
(Cousin) and husband Bill
were kind enough to let us live with
them for a while, which they will surely be
blessed for. We grew very close to them and
enjoyed our time with them. Dr. Silver did
discover that the babies were in separate
sacs and finally was able to get some fluid
from around Celeste. That is how we found out
we were having girls, it also showed Celeste
appeared to have no mental or physical
retardation; which they were worried about.
They gave us several options to try and
correct the Twin-Twin Syndrome. One was to go
to Wisconsin and have a laser surgery done to
try and direct more nutrients to the smaller
baby. Second was to extract some fluid from
the bigger baby and hope that when the fluid
accumulates that it would go to the smaller
baby. Third was to reduce ourselves to one
baby to give the bigger one an almost 100%
chance of living, that choice was never a
choice for us. God gave us two babies and we
were going to keep two babies. Fourth was to
do nothing and just to observe and put the
rest in God's hands. We chose the fourth.
What faith Darren and I had to have. We knew
the Lord was there and would do his will. We
learned to accept his will. I remember the
sweet spirit that accompanied me during the
hardest times and what a wonderful supportive
husband I had. Celeste also decided to be
breech, she liked to cause me pain on my
right lower ribs. Myesha liked to be against
my left hip. We knew what child would have
what name. The smaller one was going through
much harder trials so we gave her the name
Celeste-short for Celestial. We really like
the name Myesha, thinking we made it up (It
is an Arabic name. What a wonderful
way to fight prejudice) We gave it to the
bigger baby. At 26 weeks gestation they found
out Celeste had Dandy Walker and
Hydrocephalus. We had felt all along that
there was something wrong with the
smaller baby. We decided we would accept and
love our child any way she
came to us.
On November 11, 1995, we had a wonderful
revelation given to us in the Bountiful, Utah
Temple. We were comforted in knowing both our
children would live. The Celestial room was a
wonderful place to be. The spirit stayed with
us throughout the rest of the day. The
Bountiful Temple holds a special place in our
hearts, which is where our first official
date was. We went to the open house of the
Temple on November 12, 1994. That is also the
second day of our meeting one another. In
January 1996 they found sugar in my urine. I
had to test for Gestational Diabetes. More
blood drawn and an awful sugar drink would
tell them if I had it. The test came back
just a little high. At the end of
January they discovered protein in my urine
and a high blood pressure so I spent a few
days in the hospital for a 24-hour urine
test. And I was also told to stay on bed rest
for the remainder of my pregnancy. I went
home and later returned to the Doctor's
office with high blood pressure again. I was
invited to stay for the remainder of my
pregnancy. They really watched my
pre-eclampsia (Toxemia) close. During my stay
in the hospital they did many more Ultra
Sounds to check out Celeste heart. They were
concerned at some of her non-stress results.
They felt the heart rate was not up as high
as it should be. Thank goodness the heart was
just fine.
Bed rest was boring. My wonderful roommate
Carla kept me company. Darren had to work
often so he couldn't always keep me company.
We talked about the gospel often. She is not
LDS. She was not interested in the gospel but
she enjoyed talking about religion and so did
I. On February 13, 1996, I began to see black
spots caused by the pre-eclampsia. So I was
no longer to take my 15 minutes wheel chair
rides or to join the girls at the Tuesday
lunch in. They also took my roommate away.
They needed her to interpret, Spanish, for
them. I became very depressed. I had no one
to talk to and the next day was valentines
day. Darren would only be able to see me for
a very short time. Pre-eclampsia can be
worsened by stress and depression. Valentines
came and I was very sick. Dr. silver decided
I would not be able to last much longer, so
the girls were to be born by Cesarean on
February 14, 1996. The spirit was so strong
there was no fear only happiness. I knew
everything was going to be all right. Darren
looked so funny in the surgeon outfits. They
gave me an IV and Magnesium medications, that
stuff made me hot and uncomfortable. The
Spinal was weird. I now know what it is like
to be a paraplegic. A curtain was put up
between me and the babies, so I could not see
them. How wonderful it was to hear them cry,
it is not quite as wonderful now though, LOL.
Celeste being the littlest let out the
biggest scream, she still does that today.
Myesha was born first at 10:59 A.M. at 4 lb.
8 oz. Celeste at 11:01 P.M. 2 lb. 3 oz.
Celeste was still in her sac when Doctor
Silver pulled her out. He popped the sac
outside of the Uterus, many nurses thought
that was so cool. There were only about 40
medical students present at the birth, since
I had a rare condition. My recovery was
quick. I did not get to see my babies until
four hours later. What sweethearts. We had
covered the first milestone together as a
family.
February 19, 1998
Myesha at 9 yrs. old
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