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May 12, 2005
In 2003 we moved back to Idaho. I was at a point that I desperately needed help from my family. I was on a cane. Funny thing is soon after getting to Idaho I was walking without it. We figure it has something to do with the environment, which Lyme Disease can be worsened or greatly improved due to environment. The girls were doing great. We moved in with Darren's parents until we could find a place of our own. Later that year we found us an apartment. We are not on antibiotics at this time but considering we are doing pretty good with our health. And of course like so many with this disease we are financially stressed. Our apartment is a three bedroom but still we feel crowded in. Especially since in Pennsylvania were able to rent a town house with the help of many friends.
The girls do complain from time to time about pain but nothing right now that would prevent them from being normal girls. The scary thing is one day this disease could cripple them. That is why I fight so hard to keep it under control. Many times the doctors here get tired of me. Luckily I have found a pediatrician who is willing to put them on antibiotics if it starts showing its ugliness. I pray and hope they keep going on as well as they have. Myesha did have a bout of it about five months ago. She was having extreme pain and cramps in her feet. Dr. put her on antibiotics and it cleared up.
Darren is working part-time as a teachers-aid at an elementary school. He really enjoys it. He is great with kids. He is my real hero. Not many men would have stayed with their wives at so many times of trial. When the doctors told me that there was nothing wrong with me. Darren didn't accuse me of faking or being lazy. He stuck by me even in times of doubt. For a while there with the Lyme Disease he thought I was grabbing at straws out of desperation. But even though he felt that way he stuck by me. He stuck by me so much that he quit college, left his family and friends to move to Pennsylvania so we could get proof and get treated. Which the positive Lyme PCR's did for us. Doctors were startled that me and my three girls had it. Many of the tests are in accurate even a negative PCR but get a positive PCR and it is 100% you have it.
We would have liked to move back into the trailor we bought with my mom. But it is falling apart and felt it was to dangerous to move back in. It would have helped greatly if we could have because we would be having to incomes coming in instead of one.
Well I am happe that my kids are doing well. I wish that was the case with me. Although my symptoms aren't as bad as some right now it is causing other health problems to arise for me now; like Graves Disease and Insulin resistance. I have pain constantly in my face and neck. I have many other problems especially with my memory. I have a hard time remembering and spelling words. My cognitive abilities is very poor. I have gained so much weight from this disease that it isn't even funny. My girls are missing out on having a mother who can run and play with them. It is really sad. My girls have gone without so much. There are many things they would like but get very few of them. I would really like to some day have a nice place for them to live. Space for them to play. They have been through so much. I wish something good would happen for them. Oh okay I didn't mean to get sappy so enough of that.
Though we have very little we have each other. We have so much despite our financial problems. We have our faith and our love and that is worth more than all the money in the world. I love them so much.
Cyntha
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